The Spirit of Intimacy by Sobonfu Somé

When I saw this book at @sankofadc everything about it pulled me in – it’s pocket-sized and short, the cover design is dope, it features the words “Spirit,” “Intimacy,” and “Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships” in the title, and there’s a recommendation quote from Alice Walker at the bottom.


The author Sobonfu Somé was a member of the Dagara people in modern-day Burkina Faso, and she and her partner Malidoma Somé serve(d) as “ambassadors” of West African spirituality to the US and Europe.

This was another book that made me grateful for books and the ability to read, write and connect with people through space and time.

It sucks to feel disconnected from my ancestors and the land they were a part of. However, this book taught me something important about their perspective that survives on today.

A village is made of relationships, but it takes a village to make relationships…🤔🤔🤔

“Aunty” Somé explains how she was raised in the rituals that her people have practiced for millennia in order to cultivate healthy communities.

With that upbringing, Somé makes it clear that US culture is one that actively destroys and discourages healthy communities and ecosystems.

While we don’t have to copy/paste the Dagara rituals into our own lives, I am convinced that ancestral knowledge is lighting the way forward, and Somé helped me see why in this book.

Somé emphasizes that the meaning affirmed in every ritual, and relationship, is the knowledge that everything, including you, is sacred and connected.

FYI: I called her “Aunty” up there because reading this book definitely felt like having a good talking-to from an aunty about love and life😂 I needed one so bad I wrote down ~50 of her quotes on notecards for future reference👀

Similar Posts